Double Jeopardy Two-Boy Weekend Showdown!!

I really think that you're going to be tell which posts are mine by the exclamation points in the titles, if my first two are any indication.

Anywho.

Back in the day, I was awkward. And when I say awkward, please know that I mean AWK-WHERD. It was painful. I was nerdy, with these horrible green plastic glasses, and terribly, horrifically shy. but I loved to read. So after one fateful book fair, I came home with some of the Sweet Valley High books. I was certain that at any moment my parents would cotton to the fact that I was reading about *gasp!* high schoolers and what couldn't possibly be age-appropriate adventures! I mean, they drove around town in their shiny red Fiat by themselves! They had hunky boyfriends! They went to co-ed parties! And in every other book they managed to dodge death and/or a coma! What dorky girl with a bad perm her grandmother forced on her wouldn't want to escape to sunny California where everyone's hair is sun-kissed and wears a size six?

(Do I sound sheltered? I blame Catholic school.)

Eventually, I grew up, got some self-esteem, and some glasses that are a little more Tina Fey and a little less Sally Jesse Raphael. The books I read now have plausible plot lines and multisyllabic words that aren't "dreamy" or "crumpled" (which is the only way the twin's perfect faces know how to express emotion, BTW). And I didn't think about the world of Sweet Valley for a very long time. (I am still nerdy, though. Nerdy and proud!)

Until I found this website, and could not stop cracking up. The switch was flipped. Now that you mention it, it was weird that Elizabeth and Todd never went all the way. Those Twilight prudes eventually did the nasty, so why not E&T? Why did no one ever insist that Jessica go see a shrink to try to curb the pathological lying? And good lord but those girls ate, and yet they always fit into those little bikinis. So please, enjoy the snark. If you have even a faint recollection of these books, you won't be sorry.